Posting a MONTH of stuff! Sorry!

Wow! It's been a month since my last post. I honestly have not had time to sit and really write. I have spent a lot of time playing and doing puzzles and reading and getting ready for the best Christmas EVER!

Sarah is doing GREAT! She is recovered and is our miracle. Jason is doing great in school and loving that we are all home together enjoying this wonderful season.

I am posting a lot of photos to sum up the last month! I am so thankful to God for me being able to capture our journey through a lens and for giving us the perfect "things" to take photos of! We are so blessed and looking forward to a wonderful Christmas together!


I took this photo of Sarah in August and entered it in a contest in September. She was making a wish on a dandelion and when I asked her what she was wishing for, she said "A good heart." I entered it and it WON! On the day of her surgery, I had gotten an email that I was the grand prize winner and didn't know it until we got back home! This photo is titled "Sarah's Wish" and it came true on the day we won! Go to www.lifehappens.org to see it as their ad on their home page! So exciting!










This photo below was taken the DAY after we got home from Houston! What a perfect reason to celebrate every day!

Sarah is welcomed home by Willie, her best friend! Our precious neighbors and our family was there to welcome her home! Willie came dressed as Rudolph! So cute! We celebrated with cupcakes and friends and family! What a welcome home!

This does not even look like a child who JUST had heart surgery!

At the dr. waiting!

Rocking out with Presley a week and a half after surgery!!!!!!!

We made it through!








SO thankful at Thanksgiving!

Having a little sleepover with Presley!

Mimi loves her babies!

Pop and kiddos! Love!

Scary! Jason behind the wheel!

Sarah with Miss Suzan! Her buddy!

Sweet girl!

SO happy to all be together again! Us at the Ronald McDonald House!

Riding the wagon a few days after surgery!

Looking good girl!

What a Difference a WEEK makes!!!!!!

WOW! How great is our God!? Seriously!?

This has been quite a week. When I say "week", I nearly jump for joy to think that in a week's time, Sarah's heart has been repaired and in turn, so has mine! She is back to herself! Look at the difference a week makes!

I am so thankful for the awesome job that Dr. Heinle did for our precious angel! She is doing so great! We are having a hard time slowing her down. She got to reunite with me today and also with Jason! Today has been a great day! Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Last Tuesday:



















This Tuesday:

A Mommy on "Hold"....

First of all, let me say that GOD is SO good! All the time. Even when we have a hard time telling ourselves to believe it or to see "His" Plan.....still....always perfect. Always on time.

Here's a rundown of the last week for you all....

Sarah's surgery was on Monday as you know. Monday afternoon, I nearly fainted at her bedside but we just thought it was emotions, lack of sleep, food, etc. I ended up being up with her all night Monday night and it was the worst night of my life. As her mother, to sit there and hear her ask questions like "Why did I have to do this, mommy? Other kids don't have to have heart surgery." and "Why did you let them hurt me, mommy?" Well, it was awful. I just sat there and prayed that she would not remember any of those feelings when this was all over. I can't imagine having to go through what she went through and be as strong as she has had to be at 5 years old!

Tuesday morning, I nearly passed out again in the CV-ICU and Todd had just returned. I went to the waiting room to lay down for a while and then he made me go to the Ronald McDonald House to take a nap. When I woke up, I had a high fever. I immediately knew something was horribly wrong. I never get a fever or sick. I rushed to the urgent care center at St. Luke's and was tested for the flu which came back positive. I was devestated. Immediately, I called Todd and he told her nurses. They started giving Sarah Tamiflu in hopes that it would keep her from getting it, as well. Basically, the hospital went into "panic" mode in all the areas I had been in. I am sure there were buzzers and red lights flashing all over the place!

I was then told I couldn't see her for 7 days. Devestated and depressed, I returned home to Lufkin on Tuesday afternoon to rest and get well. My illness only lasted less than 24 hours and I was totally fine and back to normal. I was upset to say the least that I got sick but even more upset that it caused me a WEEK of not seeing her.

Being seperated from her has been awful. I will never forget being at home Tuesday night. Alone. Neither of my children or husband near me and feeling so pitiful. These are the times in your life that you either turn away from God or you CLING to him for endurance. I chose to get closer. I read my bible and prayed and wept and threw fits and cried and just about anything else you can imagine. I sobbed until I finally fell asleep. Wednesday night was even worse. I had to call my little sister at midnight because I was crying so hard and hyperventilating and about to throw up I was so upset. I had a complete meltdown until she talked me down and got me calm. It took a while but I was able to go to sleep afterwards.

Over the few days I was at home, friends would call and I was so thankful to have loved ones who truly cared about me. There were food deliveries for me, anything I needed. Still, I was miserable. This was the darkest time in my life coming in above the day she was even born and rushed to Houston where I couldn't go for 3 days because of a c-section. I loved her at that time, too, but now....she wasn't a newborn that I hadn't gotten to truly bond with yet.

Now....she is my five year old partner in crime whom I spend every day with playing Candyland and going shopping. My little shadow who is always there with me no matter what. My little person. Seperation was NOT my idea of a good time.

On Thursday night, Jason got to come home to be with me. We decided we can be miserable together or try to be happy and do something that would get Sarah's spirits lifted. So, we decided to make her a silly video. We danced and lip-sync'd to "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus and put it on you-tube. We were going to make it on Friday, but we planned it out Thursday night and then I said "Let's make it now." So we did!

About 30 minutes after we uploaded it, her daddy called us at 1a.m. and told us she was having a meltdown. I told him about the video and he immediatly pulled it up on the laptop for her putting her in a better mood. Talk about God's perfect timing! I was so glad we didn't wait until Friday morning to make it!

It is now day 6 of not being able to even touch her or see her. I am living minute by minute waiting to touch her once again. I cannot wait to be near her. I am totally well. I am completely recovered and anxious to get to Sarah! This year, for Thanksgiving, I will TRULY be thankful and remember the TRUE reason we celebrate this holiday. I will be thankful just to be IN the same room with my whole family at once. I will be thankful that Sarah's heart has been repaired and that she is a shining example of strength and love and determination. I will be thankful when she and her brother fight after being together a half hour and I will be thankful someone spilled their juice or wouldn't eat their veggies.

I will be thankful to be her mom....even if I've had to do it from a telephone for a week. And I will be thankful to be Jason's...without him having to deal with my emotions for once. Well, at least the sad ones!

I am not promising no tears for Thanksgiving this year....but no sad ones!

I hope you all remember to be thankful this week and thank God for your life and the stage you are in. Thank Him for the things that get on your nerves or make you want to scream....those are the things you could miss someday.

Sarah's doing great!

Sarah is doing so great! She is making a speedy recovery. Best case scenario, she could get released from the hospital on Sunday which is less than a week after surgery! WOW!

God is SO good!

Please pray for me, though. I am well physically but emotionally, I am having a lot of problems. I miss her so much and not being there is killing me. I would give anything to just touch her hand or look at her right now. She called at 1 a.m. this morning crying for me an that really hurts. I need her as much as she needs me right now.
Please keep praying for both of us.

I should be able to see her on Tuesday.

Finally an update.....

Sorry that it has taken me so long to update. Sarah is GREAT! We couldn't get a good connection for me to log onto my blog at the hospital.

Here's a rundown of the last 48 hours....

Monday: Sarah had her open heart surgery and did GREAT! It took a little over 5 hours and then she went to CV-ICU to recover. She did better than expected. (She always does! Thank the LORD!)

Monday night: I sat with Sarah through most of the night with the exception of leaving to take a few hours worth of a nap while she slept. It was a very hard and emotional night. She cried alot and asked me questions like "Why do I have to do this, mommy...other kids don't have to do this?" and "Why did you let them hurt me, mommy?" It was gut wrenching, but thankfully, only I will remember it and not her as she was heavily medicated.

Tuesday: I nearly fainted at her bedside around 9 a.m. I then left the room and Todd stayed with her while I tried to lay down in the waiting room for a few minutes and get my composure. I thought I was just emotional and tired but then I started feeling worse. I tried to eat something and started feeling nauseated. I then went to lay down and take a nap and when I woke up, had 101 fever. It quickly went to nearly 103 and I went to the urgent care center and tested positive for flu a which is mostly decided to be h1n1. I gathered my things and headed home. Carolyn (my mother in law) was with me all day but has gone to get tested today and is clear so far. She is waiting a few days to make sure she doesn't get symptoms, too. Todd is with Sarah and his sweet cousin, Todd Clarke is with him, too. They are teaming up and taking care of our girl. Thankfully, Laura & James also live in Houston and are helping with everything they need. Sarah is going to get to watch a movie and hang out with lala tonight while daddy takes a break.

Today: I am home. Alone. Sick. Sad. Pitiful. But.....God hears me and knows I am sad and I am trying to remain positive. I am hoping that through this, Todd and Sarah really get a chance to bond as father and daughter. She is a mama's girl usually, so this may be a great way for her to learn to depend on her daddy a little more, sometimes.

This too shall pass. "The Lord gives strength to his people. The Lord blesses his people with peace." Psalms 29:11

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We finally got our first update. We were waiting to hear that the lines went in okay and just found out that not only do they already have the lines in but they already got through all the scar tissue (which can take up to 4 hours) and have gotten her on the heart/lung bypass machine!!!

They are starting the procedure now. She is doing GREAT! Everything is Way ahead of schedule and they are thinking they may be done with surgery by 2 or 3 p.m.!

Please pray that she gets off the heart lung bypass okay and that they get the breathing tube out before she comes out of the O/R!

Also, we don't know yet if they did the easy or more complicated procedure. We won't know until the next update in a few hours!

Love to all! Thanks for your prayers. We can feel the love!

Surgery is on Now.

Sarah is in surgery right now. It will take a few hours to get updates. The first few hours is just getting lines in and iv's, etc. She was laughing when they rolled her in after drinking the funny juice. I didn't cry until we got to the elevators and she had to go one way and I had to go another. I know God is watching over my baby today and she is with the best medical team possible, but I still cried.

I cried hard.

Updates later.

Clear for Surgery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today was a hard day for me. I can't imagine how it was for Sarah! It was hard because it was the second try at Pre-Op tests to get cleared for surgery. It wasn't so bad the first time compared to this because at least the last time, she didn't know what to expect, but today, she did........and she didn't LIKE it! LOL

However, even though it was a hard day, we are focussing on the best parts of the day! Hopefully, by dwelling on the positive and trying to forget the bad stuff, our memories will be sweet instead of bitter!




This is yesterday before we left the house to go to Houston. I made Sarah a sandwich and she asked me to take her picture with it. I told her she got a special shaped heart sandwich because she has a special shaped heart! She loved it!













Arriving in the clinic, all smiles!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was Sarah and Rosie at the Path Lab. This was BEFORE she had to do bloodwork so we were still taking pictures! LOL

After her x-rays, Sarah was given a special new friend. Her new puppy's name is "Marble" because Sarah said she looks like one of Mr. Randy's marbles. He is our neighbor that collects marbles and Sarah loves to see all of the different ones he finds! So, Mr. Randy....you got a puppy named after your hobby!

This is a very special nurse! Her name is Lisa. She was the first nurse from Texas Children's to ever see Sarah. She came all the way to Lufkin in the Kangaroo Crew Ambulance to pick up our little blue baby and rush her to safety. She was with her while she was in the NICU and we loved her. Over the years, we've missed seeing her and today, when she saw us in the hallway, she was SHOCKED to see this precious little 5 year old girl and she couldn't believe how big she had gotten! The last time she saw her, she was about a year old. She not only remembered Sarah, but her entire diagnosis, etc! We were so excited to get to see Miss Lisa and she was happy to see Sarah, too! What an angel she was to our family!!!

Waiting for lab results, Mimi read princess stories to Sarah. I was so thankful for Mimi today. She was very helpful and I know Sarah was glad to have her Mimi with us, too. I don't think I could have done it by myself. I was on email with Todd on my iPod constantly keeping him up to date on our status and what was going on. He was out of town for a business trip and was sad he couldn't be there for his baby girl, but we did just fine. She had WAY more attention than she needed, that's for sure! Mimi was a lifesaver today! She even drove home for me because I got so sleepy so she offered to drive and let me have a nap. It was so great! Thank you, Mimi! You are one great mother in law and an awesome Mimi!

Princess Sarah recieves a heart shaped pillow from a hospital volunteer and then a crown from Miss Kate, the child life specialist that we LOVE! She is a DOLL! She always takes such awesome care of us!

Miss Kate helps Sarah sniff all the "Air" flavors so she can design her "scent" for when she has surgery on Monday.....it came down to Cherry, Banana or Coconut, so Sarah is getting a custom designed scent of Cherry Banana! Mmmm.....

Miss Kate helps Sarah "do" an IV on a doll. Sarah loved getting to use the iv straws and tickle us with them and Miss Kate helped ease Sarah's fears. She is the best child life specialist I've ever seen! She is so calm and loving and really helps relieve some tension for these sweet kiddos. She told Sarah that she had stocked up on her Mermaid & Princess tattoo bandaids this week and has lots of fun stuff for them to do after her surgery! Sarah can't wait!

Sarah was in the back seat on the way home and was just talking so sweet about stuff and in mid-sentence, she stopped. I turned around to see this. Sleeping like an angel. She couldn't say another word, just passed out! So precious! Thankfully, this day is behind us!

We got home to pick up Jason and she was excited to see him. It had only been 24 hours and they acted like they'd been apart for weeks. I can't imagine what it's going to be like in a few weeks when they HAVE been apart for 2 weeks. Jason is not allowed to visit the hospital and it is making it very hard for our family, but they are trying to keep the flu away and they've had quite an outbreak lately. I understand, but it is just hard on them. We are praying we are out of the hospital and in the Ronald McDonald house by Thanksgiving day so that brother can be with ALL of us on that special day. If not, we'll be letting Mimi & Pop spend a few hours with Sarah so Jason can have his Mom & Dad to himself for a few hours and go eat Thanksgiving dinner somewhere or something like that. We're going to work it and play it by ear this year.

Hearts full of Thanksgiving....

Dear Friends & Family,
As most of you already know, Sarah's heart surgery is set for Monday, November 16th. We will have pre-op testing day after tomorrow and then surgery on Monday. We are expected to be in the hospital and Houston for 2-4 weeks. We are excited we are getting closer but also a little nervous as this is scary for anyone and especially our five year old daughter. She is very brave and strong and we have faith that God is watching over her and us throughout this journey. We sometimes question his timing, but we know in our hearts, it is always perfect and according to his plans and not ours! (and usually, when we look back on this....aren't you GLAD everything's not in OUR hands!? I know I am!)
This year, for Thanksgiving, we will most likely be spending our time as a family in either the hospital or the Ronald McDonald House. We are really hoping for the Ronald McDonald House so that we can be together with Jason as he is not allowed to visit the hospital at all due to all of the flu outbreaks.
As I have been feeling "sorry" for us lately and wishing we were having a "normal" Thanksgiving, I realized something. I don't like it. I don't want to be sad or distraught or stressed out over this! I can either be miserable or happy! I'm going to choose happy.
I've decided that a great way to help myself feel better about the whole situation is to turn it to helping others while we are there. We already have the hospital gowns that we were taking to deliver to children after Sarah gets to the 15th floor. Now, I am thinking that Thanksgiving day is a great day to do that! If we are at the hospital still, it will be perfect! And even if we've already gone to the Roanld McDonald House, I can leave Sarah & Todd and go over and deliver the gowns to spread some joy on Thanksgiving day.
I would also like to help the Ronald McDonald House if possible, though. Therefore, I am asking for your help. If you would like to donate any items listed below, I will be happy to deliver them to RMH/Houston! This is a great way to be thankful for what we are all so blessed to have. For us, instead of spending money on our traditional ingredients for Thanksgiving dinner, we will be purchasing things to donate to RMH. Things that will last beyond the day of Thanksgiving.

Items that are useful are:
Travel size toiletries

Toothbrushes

Paper Towels

Toilet Paper

Trash can liners

Napkins

Cookies

Individual coffee creamers

Sweet & Low or Splenda packets

Microwaveable Popcorn

Movies/DVD's (used are great! They have a video library for families!)

Playstation games for the gameroom

New toys for the children's playroom

Coloring books or coloring pages they can leave out for kids

Crayons

Markers

Books

Rolls of quarters

Snack size items such as chips, pretzels, animal crackers, etc.

There are many things not on this list that would also be helpful to someone. If you would like to donate any of these items, please contact me for a location to dorp off. I will take these items and deliver them while we are there for our stay. Your help would be GREATLY appreciated!
The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me;to one who orders his way rightlyI will show the salvation of God!”—Psalm 50:23

You will be blessed for blessing others this Thanksgiving!

With Thanks....
Sharon Swan

P.S. I will be updating the status of our situation throughout this process via this blog!

My Sweet Kiddos & Halloween Fun!

We had such a great time this year for Halloween! We had a school carnival at Jason's school Friday night and they loaded up with candy and goodies and then we had a wondeful time going out to eat with Mimi & Pop afterwards. Sarah wanted to be Ariel from The Little Mermaid this year. She loved dressing up in her mermaid costume and wearing the wig! Jason was a Ghostbuster thanks to his daddy helping him make a super-awesome Proton Pack with working lights AND sound! He will probably keep that proton pack forever! He was so proud. His friends didn't even believe they made it!

Here are pics and descriptions from our fun Halloween weekend!



Jason & Sarah ready to head to the School Carnival!












Sarah getting comfortable playing with a ferret! She is going to be a vet someday, I think! She LOVES animals. She is NEVER scared of any animal she meets!











Jason & Sarah walking into Cafe Del Rio with their Pop.












Jason & Mimi!













Our attempt at a Ghostbusters pumpkin. It broke, but Jason still LOVED it! That is all that matters!











Jason & Sarah with 2 of their cousins, Miles and Presley....ready to trick or treat!














Me & my trick or treaters! :)












I love this pic! Jason, Sarah & Presley heading down the street to trick or treat!











Mimi & Pop with Jason & Sarah at the school carnival!

Jason's proton pack!

My handsome little ghostbuster!

Sarah (Ariel) with a sweet puppy!

Jason with his principal, Mr. Greak. He is the nicest man! Sarah loves him, too! He'll be her principal someday, too, I hope!

Sarah with Daddy at cafe del rio!

Who ya gonna call!?

Besties!

This photo was taken at Miss Dorothy's house. (one of Mimi's good friends!) She lives a few doors down and she had gone ALL out in preparation for our little trick or treaters! She gave them special goodies and even dressed up for them. They loved her house! Thank you, Miss Dorothy for treating our little gobblins so sweetly! They really loved coming to your house to trick or treat!

Miss Dorothy with Sarah & Presley!

me & Todd all dressed up for Halloween night!

I was a gypsy and Todd was Beetlejuice.
















Precious little sweeties!

November 2009













My little angel girl! Sweetie!

















LOVE this pic of my two babies!